Motivation: More on the Power of Focus

Here's a fun little experiment to start thissolution
column:take a few seconds and look around you,Often it's easy to get caught in the endless
noticing and focusing on everything you see thatdefinition and re-definition of a problem. "What's
is blue. Just look around and notice everything thatthe problem?" is the wrong question. A better
is blue.question would be "How many new and different
Just work with me here.solutions can we create?"
Now close your eyes, and tell me every thing youRemember, problems have solutions.
noticed that is green.Focus 5% on the mistake 95 % on learning from
Threw you a bit of a curve ball there, didn't I? Ifit
you are like most folks, you were expecting meA mistake is simply evidence that someone tried
to ask you to name everything that was blue.to accomplish something.
Instead I asked for green, something differentThere's a wonderful story about a new employee
from that which you were focused on.of a large corporation that makes a $10,000
Now here's an interesting fact from the world ofmistake in his first week. Upon being called into
race car driving. As I understand it, when newthe CEO's office at the end of the day, he tells
drivers are learning how to race, one of the veryhis boss that he realizes he has to fire him and
first things they are taught is what to focus onthat he is sorry for the mistake. To which the
when they go into a spin. The natural tendency isCEO replies, "Fire you? No way, I just spent
to focus on the wall they are trying to avoid$10,000 training you." I bet he became a loyal and
hitting, and they usually wind up hitting the wall.valuable employee.
Instead they are taught to focus not on the wall,Focus 5% on who to blame 95% on making sure
but to focus on where they want to go. In thisto heal
way, they have a better chance of avoiding theGetting stuck in blame sets you up to "be - lame."
wall and successfully getting out of the spin.Focusing on healing allows you to move on with
The incredible power of focus in our livesyour life.
Where we place our focus, the rest of our mindFocus 5% on the conflict 95% on the win-win-win
and emotions will follow. In the exercise, weresolution
learned that we only notice what we focus on. InConflict, especially in families, does not always
the racing example, we learned that we tend tohave to be a win - lose situation. In any conflict,
end up where we are focused.each side has needs. The question is what kind of
"So how do we learn how to do this focus stuff?"solution can be found that meets as many of
you ask. One of the quickest ways to begin toeach person's needs as possible.
strengthen your focus muscles is to practice theFocus 5% on what you must do 95% on
5%/95% rule. That means to focus no moreenjoying the process of it
than 5% on what you don't want and 95% on"I have to" - "I've got to" - "I wish I didn't have
what you do want.to" are all phrases that focus on having to do
Focus 5% on what you fear 95 % on gettingthings we don't want to do. Better words that
educated and skilled to face itshift your focus would be "How can I get all this
Did you know that we all have fears? Even thosedone and enjoy the process?" Or in the words of
that appear to not fear anything. The trick is notpsychiatrist Sidney Freidman on M*A*S*H, "Ladies
to have no fear, but to work at becoming strongand gentleman, take my advice, pull down your
and skilled enough to face and conquer yourpants, and slide on the ice."
fears.Finally, and probably most importantly................
Focus 5% on the problem 95% on the healthiest