| For women, the car is a means to an end. No | | | | local support group immediately to prevent a |
| matter if it's a Mercedes, a 4 x 4 or an escort | | | | further regression into depression. |
| van, it gets our kids to school, the shopping | | | | A tendency for those slipping into the belief that |
| home, the dog to the vets and the rubbish to the | | | | their inanimate car is developing a relationship with |
| tip. The end. | | | | them is for the used BMW owner to spend all |
| For men, a whole different story surrounds his | | | | Sunday morning lovingly bestowing waxing and |
| beloved baby that he so sadly names as if it | | | | stroking pleasure on the bonnet. If you see your |
| were a real, thinking, feeling person instead of an | | | | man doing this, you can be sure he is on a |
| inanimate object. This is because men do not | | | | slippery slope although getting an admission from |
| have enough to think about in real life. Incapable | | | | him at this stage is virtually impossible. |
| of carrying on a productive grown up relationship, | | | | The next step is when you find car accessory |
| they leave the ins and outs of this to the women | | | | magazines hidden behind the toilet. He will begin to |
| and concentrate their efforts into their car. | | | | waste long hours in the little boy's room, |
| You will find throughout the years that used BMW | | | | ruminating over such things as wheel trims that |
| owners are more guilty of this than any, say | | | | are worth more than the car, waxes that |
| Mercedes or Range Rover owners. Studies are | | | | promise a factory finish and pine air fresheners. |
| currently being carried out into why this would be | | | | You can, of course, always remove this source |
| so but for the purpose of this article, accept it as | | | | of temptation at your own risk. A used BMW |
| true. | | | | owner devoid of his accessory magazine is a |
| Theories abound that the used BMW owner is a | | | | force to be reckoned with. |
| person low of self confidence having never quite | | | | The next phase in this utter madness comes |
| made it to a new BMW. They've reached the | | | | when the used BMW, only normally allowed out on |
| pinnacle of their success and have a used BMW | | | | sunny days, becomes his new sleeping partner. |
| to show for it with no prospect of progressing to | | | | When your man moves into the garage and |
| the flashy, souper douper, shiny, shiny version | | | | begins sleeping in his car, I'm afraid all is lost. The |
| that comes direct from the BMW factory. | | | | best thing for you to do is to sling him a spare |
| This is indeed, a sad state of affairs. In fact, | | | | blanket and pillow, wish him goodnight and snuggle |
| some would put this achievement in a class of its | | | | up in that huge bed, cocooned in your duvet, |
| own - better than riding a bicycle or Shanks's | | | | laying anyway you wish across your bed and |
| pony surely? This is what you will be told in the | | | | watching any old weepie movie you like into the |
| support groups for used BMW owners of a | | | | small hours. |
| certain low self esteem calibre. For those still | | | | Of course, you could always intervene during the |
| undiagnosed sufferers and their families, there are | | | | early stages of this difficult affliction and set |
| some pointers to look out for. When you see | | | | about securing some professional counselling but |
| these symptoms, please seek help from your | | | | where would be the fun in that? |